Fear Itself.

     It has been a while since I have felt motivated to write. This town is small, and I have found myself desperately searching for new places to explore and train and new people with which to do these things. I have never been one to turn down an opportunity out of fear, and yet that is almost exactly what I did this past weekend.
     When the commander of your unit asks you to join him on a bike ride, not under any circumstances do you object. Ever. I had recently purchased a beautiful new Quintana Roo TT bike so that I may actually have a shot at placing in my upcoming tri. My commander has been racing road bikes for many years, 50 to be exact, and invited me to join him on a "short, easy ride" from Auburn to Seattle. This is about a 50 mile ride...with hills.

Side note: previous to the actual invite, my ego decided to speak without my consent to let my commander know that I would beat him in a bike race on any given day. My ego seriously needs to be controlled.

     The offer was placed on the table at the beginning of the work day, and I accepted. However, the next 8 hours were filled with absolute terror. I was truly afraid that I would not be able to accomplish this distance. I did not believe in my abilities nor my will to even try. I contemplated ways in which to back out of the mission and quietly go home with my tail between my legs. WHO WAS THIS PERSON??
     Fear may destroy even the most strong willed person, if they allow it. I was afraid to fail. I did not want to fail and was therefore afraid to try. But avoiding a challenge out of fear is in itself, failing.
     I had to go through with it, and what happened during those painful 50 miles was by far one of the best experiences of my life. First of all, I'll say that I accomplished it - and once I started, not once did I think about quitting. Had I been riding by myself, I probably would have. But having someone with you that truly believes in your abilities and pushes you past your limits is more valuable than you can imagine. This is the strength that I have been desperately desiring for months. I need to be pushed in order to succeed. I need to constantly demand more of myself and prove that I am stronger than my fear. Had I given in to my self-doubt, I would have missed out on this incredible opportunity. I will never make that mistake again.
     You must try. You must do. Take the opportunities in front of you and demand more from yourself every day. When I become complacent, I lose myself and I forget what I am truly capable of. Take into account the chances in your life that are offered to you every day. Even something as simple as a bike ride can help put everything into perspective for you. God has put a passion for fitness in my heart for a reason, yet I am still learning my own strength. I have only been involved in the racing community for a year, but the point of it all is to set goals, conquer them, and continue to break through the limitations I have set upon myself. Everyone is capable of accomplishing what they think they cannot, and fear is the only limiter.