The Healing Power of Gu

     It has been said that no success or failure is necessarily permanent. What matters is the experience and accomplishment that I will carry in my heart and spirit for the rest of my life. A person who has experienced life without the incredible joy of victory or the all-consuming disappointment of defeat has not lived. And it is a disservice to try to protect yourself from these feelings for there can be no victory without defeat, no effort without error and shortcoming.
     Endurance sports, by nature, can (and some might say must) be all-consuming. Participants tend to be deeply devoted and fanatical. These are simply the qualities needed to excel in such sports. I finished my first marathon (Tacoma City 1 May) in 3:39:00, thus accomplishing my goal of qualifying for the 2012 Boston Marathon. I felt accomplished and very proud. More proud of myself than I had been in years. And I was also addicted. Running was now in my blood and I wanted more. I therefore signed up for the Capital City Marathon that was to take place only two weeks later. My sights were entirely set on becoming a Marathon Maniac no matter what the cost. I did not consider the fact that my body had never been put through such grueling physical punishment before, nor did I acknowledge that this may be too much too soon for a person with only about 4 months of endurance running experience. Running was in my blood, and I had to do this.
     The next two weeks were some of the most difficult I have incurred. I could not run. I would attempt a light jog and my body would shut down after a mile. If you have read my previous blogs then you will know that running for me is not simply a way to keep myself in good physical condition. Running gives me peace and helps me sort through my joys and trials. It takes away the angry and regretful sides of me and replaces them with endorphins and hope. Not being able to run was driving me absolutely insane.
     Last Monday I decided that I was going to push myself on a 10 mile training run. This was one week after marathon #1 and one week before marathon #2. Every endurance athlete is probably cringing right now reading this...I know it was a bad idea! I just didn't know how badly it would affect me at the time. I decided hill repeats would help me get over my running blues so I set off on one of the biggest mistakes I have ever made. Pain in my right knee (specifically LCL) started after the hill repeats. I attempted to run it off but the pain was so severe that I could hardly move my leg. The walk back to my car seemed to take hours and I started to think about if I would be able to run the marathon...if I would ever be able to run again. Over the next week the pain did not subside and i felt helpless. My doctor couldn't see me until mid-May and ice and heat did not help. It hurt simply to walk on it. I would be running a marathon on zero training and very little movement - but I was running this damn marathon.
     As in life, you must be able to adapt your mind when your run is not going as planned. This was one of those moments. I began the marathon full of energy and excitement. That quickly faded as the pain set in almost immediately. I attempted different running forms; kicking my right foot to my bum, bounding, high knees, skipping, tiptoeing, strides an inch apart, nothing would ease the pain. I got to mile 2 and every step caused a searing pain that radiated through my leg. DNF flashed before my eyes. There was no way i was going to finish. So I did what I always do on my runs: I began to pray. I always know God is right by my side running with me, but today He gave me an absolute miracle. As I was talking to Him and asking Him to take the pain away, I got this idea in my head that maybe if I don't bend my leg then my joint will not contract which was the cause of the pain. "God I just want to finish. Please let me finish." It worked. My awkward new running form reduced the pain. My right leg was almost entirely straight with my food bent outward while my left leg was doing most of the work pushing the rest of me forward by almost hopping. Yes it looked as ridiculous as you are imagining. But I achieved continuous forward progress! My pace was horrendously slow but it did not matter. At that moment I knew I was going to finish this damn race.
     Its moments like these that you need to dig deep, stay focused, and remind yourself to concentrate on the small goals, not letting the enormity of the miles still ahead consume your mind with negative thoughts. Just focus on what you can control right now, and that was the simple task of putting one foot in front of the other.
     The people towards the end of a race are incredibly kind. All they have are words of encouragement because we all acknowledge that we are going through hell, but we are together. It is a bit of a blow to the ego when the 70 year old man wearing the fanny pack and neon pink running shirt passes you and says, "You're lookin great kid! Someday you'll be as fast as me!" Theres a big difference between admiring someone and being inspired by them, and that man inspired me.
     My goals for now are accomplished. I am a Boston qualifier and a Marathon Maniac. I am in extreme amounts of pain, but it is because I risked finding out just how far I can push myself. I am fortunate because I live for these risks, I live for these moments when I discover strengths that I never knew existed within me. The unfortunate are those cold and timid souls that never discover their strength because they are afraid of the defeat, they are afraid of the blood sweat and tears, they are afraid of the amazing power that God has given them.